Even if their name sounds harmless, so-called lover boys can destroy the lives of young people. These are men who make contact with underage students and pretend to love them. Little by little they make the young people emotionally dependent and ultimately drive them into prostitution. If pubescent girls suddenly change their clothing style, wear a lot of make-up and become alienated from their social environment, then parents should take a closer look. German authorities are aware that not only migrants are exploited using the loverboy method, but local schoolgirls also become victims.
 
BAIT ON THE INTERNET
When girls reach puberty, accompanied by self-doubt and insecurity, a difficult time usually begins for them. They are inexperienced in love relationships and sexuality. The so-called lover boys know how to exploit all of this. Loverboys are good-looking young men whose goal is to make profit from a vulnerable group of people. They message female teenagers on Facebook, Instagram or other social networks and try to gain their trust. In addition to the Internet, schoolyards and fast food restaurants are also potential places to make contact. In order to win the girls' hearts, the lover boys initially present themselves as sensitive and understanding. The Prince Charming always has an open ear for everyday problems, whether school grades or arguments with parents.
 
LOVE LIKE IN A DISNEY MOVIE
This platonic internet relationship doesn't last long. The men encourage the girl of their choice to meet in person. They tell it how beautiful it is and give it a lot of attention that it often doesn't get from family and friends. Of course, the students fall in love with these mostly older, attractive men. Uneasy feelings are ignored and friends' skepticism is interpreted as envy. First, the lover boys ensure that the chosen girl trusts them blindly and falls into a relationship of dependency. Isolation from friends and family members is an important prerequisite for emotional dependence. Loverboys are masters of brainwashing.
 
"YOU LOVE ME...THEN...."
The stitch is always similar. Next, there are complaints about financial bottlenecks. The lover boy asks the girl for help. Through targeted manipulation and emotional blackmail (“If you really love me, then you’ll do this for me,” “Remember what I’ve already done for you”), the minors are pressured by their lover boys into having sex with strange men in exchange for money . They are assured that it is a one-time thing, or that they just need to get enough money together and then it will be over. Young girls often don't understand that their supposed romantic partners are actually coldly using them to enrich themselves financially, or rather they don't want to admit it. The feeling of being loved is too beautiful. For many victims, it is the first time they have received attention from the opposite sex and the fear that no one else can love them further makes them submissive.
 
IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANY GIRL
Some parents think their child is not at risk, for example because they go to a good school or grow up in the country. In fact, more and more girls who attend high school or private school are also affected, reports Bärbel Kannemann. She is the initiator of the “NO Loverboys” association and is looking for missing girls who have fallen for a lover boy. She also personally looks after victims and gives educational lectures at schools. She warns that it can happen to any girl. Especially in rural areas, young people are increasingly using the Internet out of boredom. Some of the victims are only eleven or twelve years old.
 
PERSONS ARE DIFFICULT TO PROSECUTE
The German public prosecutor Stefan Willkomm explains: Loverboy crimes are classified as human trafficking by the Federal Criminal Police Office. The issue of human trafficking is often associated with migrants, but it also affects German girls. However, complaints and legal proceedings have so far been rare. There are mutliple reasons for this. The victims often remain emotionally attached to their lover boy for a long time and protect him. Many people are too ashamed of having fallen for such tricks and don't want to report it. A WDR documentary reports on the charges against a lover boy who was up to mischief in Düsseldorf. Four girls from Nordreinwestfahlen had the courage to take him to court in 2017. Lack of attention from society is also one of the reasons. Prosecutor Willkomm believes that there are indeed charges and trials in the cities in which his colleagues are involved. But where no one is looking, loverboy crimes go undetected. The criminal police in Austria also regret that the perpetrators are difficult to identify. The girls affected often lack the awareness that they are victims and see themselves as being to blame. In addition, the strong emotional relationship between the victims and the lover boys often hinders cooperation.
 
GETTING OFF IS DIFFICULT

When a lover boy notices that his victim is trying to break away from him, threats are made. Something bad would be done to her parents, siblings or friends if the girl confided in someone. Since the victims are often beaten, they know that men are prone to violence and take the threats seriously. But even if they manage to escape, they often voluntarily return to their tormentor soon afterwards because they still believe in true love. Until the victims really understand that their prince charming is a brutal pimp, it is a lengthy process that may require psychological help.
 
EDUCATION IN SCHOOLS

Many parents are not even aware that the lover boy scam exists and even if they have heard of it, they believe that it is only a problem in big cities and in precarious social environments. If parents knew what warning signs they should look out for, that would be a good start, emphasizes Kannemann. Of course, schoolgirls should also get to know these warning signs in order to be sensitized. They should also be taught how to deal with online acquaintances responsibly. But even if young girls are educated about the topic, they are far from being protected from falling for a lover boy.

Quelle: HOPE FOR THE FUTURE

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